Labyrinth of the Mind

It is the end of another day and it I am in bed later than I am supposed to be. Supposed to be, because sleep is one of the best things to combat depression. Sometimes I wonder if I am hurting myself by not getting more sleep. Am I depressed because I don’t get enough sleep or am I not getting enough sleep because I am depressed? It is a vicious cycle isn’t it? To top it off, I am constantly looking for a reason, an explanation for being depressed…there must be some reason. Right?

I have family that says I just need to stop being depressed. Stop being so sad, just do things that make you happy. What a wonderful world I would be living in if that is all it takes to beat the demons. It is a whole process to get just a little close to pushing depression down.

Get enough sleep, eat the right foods, drink enough water, exercise, get enough sun, have routines, work on your hobbies, play with the dog, talk to friends, go for a drive, get fresh air, watch your favorite shows, meditate, think positive thoughts.

The list of things that can help never end, but it is it really these things that help? Or is the cycle just over? Is my brain hard wired to be depressed? Is it because I seem to always in survival mode? Are some people just meant to live with depression? Am I one of those people?

Depression is the Labyrinth, but there is no Sarah to save us, and no Goblin King to keep us entertained. Just when you think you have made it out of the labyrinth you realize you walked into a dead end.

I want off this ride…

But I can celebrate because I got one in the books. I survived another day, even with the demons holding me down.