Labyrinth of the Mind

This morning I had the energy to put on a little makeup. Not much, just a little mascara and some eyeliner to make my eyes look brighter. I have not worn make up in a few weeks now. I just didn’t have the energy to do it.

I have been lazy with makeup and hair lately. Two things that I love to take care of. It has been a struggle to just get out of bed and by time I am showered and dressed, I couldn’t be bothered to do anything else. This does have an effect on my mental health, because when I take time on my appearance, I feel better. It helps with confidence and makes the day feel a little lighter.

So, here I am adding back a little more routine into my life. Why is it that routines are what keep us together, but also make us feel so restricted? It’s not just me that feels that way, right? I love a good routine, but the minute something interferes with my routine I find it hard to continue. I will fall off for weeks because of one minor inconvenience. I wish I understood why that was. Maybe that is something to bring up to my therapist next time I talk to her.

I am finding that less screen time is helping as well. I really need to stop doom scrolling on youtube shorts and TikTok. My phone battery would love me for that.

What seems to be helping the most is writing these blogs. Only a few people will see it, some posts may never be seen, but at some point, someone is going to see something I am writing about. Someone is going to relate. Writing in a private journal is one thing, no one sees that unless they are snooping. With a blog I can still be masked in a way that no one really knows who I am (unless you are a friend or my therapist reading this.)

There is something about putting the thoughts down where someone else can see them, as opposed to putting them on a page and letting it sit in darkness never to be seen again.